School, school, school

Mr N loves school, he is chomping at the bit to get out the door on school days and begs to go to school the days he doesn't have school, even Saturday. He is doing awesome, he is counting to 10 accurately quite frequently, he's recognizing and naming his colors and he recognizes his name. Every time I talk to Lesley, she seems astonished by how well he's doing. I'm so proud of him.

Last week they learned about fire safety, the firetruck went to their school and handed out hats, crayons, coloring books and tattoos. He loved it! This week they worked with pumpkins, cutting them open, feeling the seeds, counting the seeds, making projects with the seeds. He really likes the pumpkins and counted them for me. He is counting really well from 1-10 but when he sees something like the pumpkins he'll say "three pumpkins" then "two, four, six, seven" to count them. So we are still working on getting him to start at one each time he counts. He correctly counts the 3 and knows there are three, but when he counts aloud, he's not always starting at one. So we still have some counting work to do.

Lately, Mr N has been very interested in cooking, no matter what I'm doing in the kitchen he is there to help out. He pulls the chair over, climbs up and watches or helps if it's safe for him to do so. Today we are going to make pumpkin bread, so he will be excited to start that project.

Yesterday he was playing so cute outside with his dinosaurs and cars, so I grabbed my camera and as soon as I stepped outside he said "take a picture of me", like there was some better subject to shoot. I took several photos of him, he'd play for a bit, then look up at me and say "cheese" or just say cheese while he was playing. He really enjoys having his picture taken, he just doesn't always look at the camera.

We finally got the water line hooked up to the refrigerator, which Mr N is really enjoying, he loves getting his own water. It has a setting where we can set the amount to 8 oz and he just pushes a button and it fills his cup. He is so self sufficient and helpful. He insisted on buying another apple slicer the other day and has enjoyed cutting up his own apples (with help). He's also very insistent on helping with laundry, although he doesn't understand the actual process so I frequently find that he's thrown all of the clothes in the washer, or dryer, depending on which one is empty. One day he brought a basket of laundry to me that he dutifully carried up from the basement, it was full of dirty laundry. So I've been trying to let him help out when doing actual laundry so he can learn the process.

Blessings

I have been blessed in so many ways, my amazing husband, my two beautiful children, wonderful family, and true friends.

Today was a rough day, I'll admit it. Mr N had a major meltdown, through no fault of his own, he does not deal well with unfairness. Instead of fighting the situation, I chose to remove ourselves from it. My mommy guilt immediately kicked in when his meltdown ensued, it was I who exposed him to a volatile situation. His meltdown lasted twenty minutes or more, wreaking havoc on my nerves. Not because I was upset with him, but because I couldn't fix the problem. I couldn't make it better, I couldn't console him or convince him that other options would be fun and no amount of bribing was working. He got settled down and we got on with our day, but the meltdown took it's toll, he soon fell asleep then woke up crabby.

How does that relate to blessings? I'll tell you how, Mr N had an incredibly rough day but even in the aftermath, he was thinking of how to make others happy "let's get this for sissy" and "I'll share with sissy" and "sissy will play with this" throughout our shopping trip, he wanted to do nice things for his sister (even though he was getting a toy purchased with mommy guilt). I'm so blessed to know this amazing person, so proud and honored to call him my son, so happy to have the opportunity to be loved by such an incredible little man.

This little boy of mine is kind, considerate, caring, patient, loving, and full of joy. He puts a smile on my face every day and brings a tear to my eye more than I'd care to admit. He certainly makes my heart so very happy. Today he said "I want daddy, I want to hug daddy," out of the blue, no real reason other than he's an affectionate little cuddle bug that wanted to give daddy some love. Daddy's a lucky man.

In other news, Mr N lost his first two teeth!

Losing teeth

When E lost her first tooth, I came to dread the day that Mr N started losing teeth. I was worried and concerned that he wouldn't understand what was happening or being upset over the feeling of a missing tooth. But in July he was eating an apple when he came up to me pointed to his tooth and said "it's gonna fall out". At first I just thought it was cute that he understood he'd lose teeth just like sissy, but then I wiggled his tooth and it was quite loose. He wasn't scared or worried, just proud that he was going to lose a tooth, too.

Last night his first tooth fell out, literally just fell right out of his mouth when he was laying down for the night. We put it in a baggie for him and he slept with it. His new tooth has already broke through the skin, so he won't be toothless for long. He has a second tooth that is nearly ready to fall out, too.

I'm so amazed at how calm and sure he is about the losing of teeth, like it's no big deal and nothing to worry about. I'm so proud of him.

On another note, his last couple of haircuts have resulted in over the top meltdowns. He has been desperately needing a haircut and with school starting next week, I decided last night to get down to business and get it done. He was so calm, not a tear, he even let me use scissors to trim around his ears (first time ever). Afterwards he got his bath and happily showed off his new haircut to daddy. I'm blown away, usually he's sad for days about his precious hair being cut and stolen away from him (or snatched bald-headed like my bestie's mom used to say).

Our Labor Day weekend was uneventful and relaxing, we skipped camping after looking at the rainy forecast but took a couple of hikes close to town. E liked the one we took yesterday so much she wanted to do it again and take along a picnic. It was right along a creek, the trail laden with pine needles underfoot, the smell so refreshing it felt like home. E asked if we could live there, then asked why they couldn't build a town there, which made me wonder, why didn't they build the town 5 miles west? I love mountain towns built along creeks and canyons, little houses tucked into the sides of hills and windy mountain drives. Living at the base of the mountains is certainly far different from living in the mountains. Someday.

Mr N has become somewhat of a backseat driver, whenever we leave the house we tell him where we are going, then he proceeds to give us directions on how to get there, lest we forget. His verbalizing everything seems to have ramped up significantly lately. It seems like for such a long time it was requests, manners, speech fitting a two year old. But now he's sounding more and more like a 4 year old (aside from the enunciation) with the way he just talks like he's been doing it forever, using phrases and sentences so effortlessly.

I've noticed his echolalia has escalated in the last few months, it started becoming more frequent in June, at least that's when I noticed the increase. Last night he was doing it incessantly, to the point of frustration (and my amusement) since he was supposed to be going to sleep. I have been of the opinion that the echolalia is beneficial and imperative in increasing his vocalization and enunciation. Last night his echolalia was so clear and precise. As his speech improves and his echolalia increases, I can't help but think there is a correlation. My favorite thing is when he says "I wanna hug you mom". <3

First Day of School

Yesterday was E's first day of first grade, Mr N did not want to drop her off, so I took her by myself. Daddy said his goodbyes at the front door and away we went. On the very short drive to the school she asked me to stay a while until she wasn't scared. As soon as she walked into class she saw a classmate from Kindergarten, which immediately put her at ease. She settled into her desk with her first project for the day, after putting her backpack & hoodie away.

Upon returning home I began to get ready for field service, Mr N assured me he did not want to go with me. So I set out on my own, leaving him to play alone for the morning. When I got home he played outside for a while, digging happily in the mud by the pear tree. He is quite content to play alone, but seeing him without his sissy made me feel for him. They typically play together at any activity they choose. We went to a quick playdate with friends before picking E up from school. I planned to drop Mr N off at home while I picked up E from school, but he insisted on accompanying me. We convinced Daddy to take a 10 minute break from work to join us in retrieving E from her first day at school.

Once we were out of the building Mr N begged to play on the playground, so Daddy took the car and went home to work while I stayed with the kids so they could play for a while. E played with a new classmate of hers, while I visited with the little girl's mother. Storm clouds moving in motivated us to start walking home for snack time. Of course, E was starving as she was last year when returning home from school each day.

The kids played together the rest of the evening, interrupted only by dinner and baths before bed. E's only disappointment in first grade so far is that they haven't seen the inside of a cat. We haven't broken it to her yet that dissecting is typically a high school science project.

This morning E was much more confident about going to school. Mr N did some more digging in the mud and unearthed two rocks that are now decorating the coffee table, leaving behind scratches and dirt. He helped attach the carpet to the new front step we built, as the old one was fatally injured by the removal of the piano last week. Mr N also helped me make Daddy lunch, constantly stirring the top one inch of pot of pasta as it was cooking.

Preschool for Mr N starts September 8, I think by then he'll be happy to have his steady routine returned, since sissy isn't home to play with every day. He told me repeatedly to "stop singing" as he does not appreciate my vocal talent, it apparently is as amazing as my ability to dance. He frequently tells me not to dance, whether it be at home, in the car, or in public. I never thought my 4 year old would be embarrassed so easily by his dorky mom, by the time he's a teen hopefully he's over it, I don't foresee me being less embarrassing at any point in the future.

Happiness

Happiness is cuddling in bed with my husband and children, never wanting to let go. Mr N crawled into bed with us at some point during the night, when he awoke this morning he was full of cuddles, sweetness and stories to share. As he lay in my arms he spoke so clearly and said so much, I wish I would have recorded it for all to hear. I came to realize just how much Mr N is talking, just how clear his words have become, and how, despite his delays, his progress is astounding and so incredibly impressive.

Meeting did not go well this morning, as we arrived to find a full house and no empty seats in the main hall. Mr N still does not do well in the back room, so daddy spent the first half of the meeting in the car with him, then we traded places. Sometimes we tend to forget that Mr N still has limitations since we see how tremendously he has progressed in so many areas. Noises, primarily echoing, still are overwhelming to him and must be avoided if at all possible. Large crowds, especially indoors, are still a source of noises, smells, and sights that send him into sensory overload.

I can't help but be incredibly proud of how far my little man has come, he's excited to be starting school in a couple of weeks, he has a best friend (more about that in a minute), he's self sufficient and independent, at times more so than his sister. Mr N has taken a liking to toast, which he makes and gets for himself without any help; he's getting to where he can put his shoes on all by himself, he's wiping his own butt with prompting, washes his hands, gets dressed and undressed (still needs help with buttons), can buckle and unbuckle the chest clip on his carseat, and I could go on about all of his accomplishments.

So back to his best friend, I had an epic emotional breakdown a few weeks ago (see previous post) after a rough day. Mr N gets along great with most other children, playing and sharing without any prompting, but there are the seldom few who bully him and are just downright mean, which breaks my heart into a million pieces. Not because Mr N gets upset or even realizes it, he freely forgives even the worst injuries, but because bullies exist and they somehow single Mr N out as different then pick on him. I was watching my friend's kids a few days after the meltdown and they were all happily playing throughout the house when I hear the 5 year old say "Mr N is my best friend". I could have kissed that dear child! He doesn't see a child with Autism, he doesn't see a child who has speech delays, he doesn't see anything but his best friend, his friend who likes to play with the same toys and the same games as him, he sees his friend. Not surprisingly, his mom is a dear, sweet friend of mine who has taken the time to teach her children to be kind to others, to treat others as they want to be treated. They didn't come by their manners and good behavior by happenstance, they were taught by their parents; and for this I am forever grateful.

Our friends came over this afternoon for a little play time, when they arrived I was inside doing a quick sweeping in the kitchen and living room (yeah I'm one of those who only cleans 5 minutes before company arrives, sorry friend) as the children piled out of the car and friends ran to greet each other and begin playing, the front yard was filled with sounds of laughter, the sounds that make your heart full of happy, the sounds that should fill yards.

It was indeed a happy day.

Traveling

At the end of the school year we pulled out the calendar sorted out all of our obligations for the summer and blocked off a week in August for a family vacation. This would be our first family vacation of our choosing since 2007, we were super excited to be able to spend a week doing what we wanted to do where we wanted to do it. We tossed around many ideas and finally settled on camping for a week in the Big Horn mountains, hiking, fishing, swimming, shooting, and relaxing out of cell range. As the summer wore on, our excitement increased as we came to realize how nice a relaxing week would be right before getting back to school for the fall.

We set up camp a day early to ensure we got the site we wanted, our plan was to camp the 7-17th of August with Daddy coming back down the 8th to his final day of work before our highly anticipated vacation started. Thursday, August 7, I made a trip to Sheridan for food and other necessities for our vacation, on my return home my mom called to let me know her mother-in-law passed away. After much discussion we decided that being there for my mom took precedence over our planned vacation. We camped in our vacation location on Thursday night since our camp was already set up, then Daddy drove home to work Friday while I unpacked camp and headed down the mountain.

Friday night we drove six hours down to my brother's house, then joined him on the trek across Kansas the following morning. We stopped frequently for gas, food, potty breaks, etc.  We arrived in Kansas Saturday afternoon with all of our camping gear in tow and prepared to set up camp. An hour later we had the Jeep and trailer unpacked, tent set up and everything situated for the evening, albeit drenched in sweat from head to toe and sporting a dozen bug bites each.

We spent the week sweating and reminiscing our previous lives in Kansas, but tried to make the most of the trip despite the circumstances. We visited my grandma; we got the kids a pool for the campsite; we went to the lake to swim, play in the sand and fish; fished in the creek; did some shooting; went to the fair and let the kids ride the carnival rides; ate at some of our favorite places; saw some old friends; went to a parade and demolition derby. The smiles on the kids faces on the carnival rides was priceless Mr N  rode the Ferris wheel with his older cousin with the biggest smile on his face, the squeals of excitement at the demolition derby are memories that last a lifetime.

We chose not to attend the viewing on Friday evening, but Saturday was full with the funeral, graveside services and family dinner. Mr N did surprisingly well with all three events in one day and even ate three rolls at the dinner.

However, Mr N's eating was poor, at best, all week; barely eating a thing many days but chugging lots of water all week long. I'm not sure if it was the traveling, stress or humidity that effected his eating so much but I'm inclined to think it was a combination of everything. The heat wasn't as bad as the humidity, we woke up wet and went to bed wet, dried off with wet towels, and ditched our wet tent after two and a half nights. We spent the rest of the time bunking with my brother's family in their camper, it was a wonderful reprieve.

We began our trip home Sunday morning with two children begging to eat every couple of hours, they had found their appetite once again. By the time we got to Denver we had fed them five meals, we stopped for two more meals in the last six hours of our trip and they both had 3-5 snacks, too. It was unbelievable the amount of food they ate on the return trip, today they showed no signs of slowing down the consumption of massive amounts of food.

Cancelling our vacation had it's effects on our emotions, but we are determined to get something scheduled in the near future.

Patience and frustrations

Frustrations stem from seeing Mr N bullied by other children, it absolutely kills me. I don't understand what prompts a child to pick on and single out another child to bully, but it is at the top of my list of things that piss me off. Sadly, Mr N doesn't do anything about it unless he is seriously injured by the bully, typically Mr N just keeps being his sweet self, trying to play with the bully. It takes an injury resulting in blood or bruising before he gets upset or frustrated by a bully, only then does he make it known to me. Obviously, knowing this is an issue, we keep a very watchful eye when he's playing with other children to help redirect him to play with other children and to tell the bully "no, stop that".

The pain and sadness that I feel, as a result of seeing other children bully my little boy, are beyond explanation. My heart aches for my baby, I weep for him. Mr N is sweet to his very core, he forgives eagerly and freely, he asks to play with children even if they were mean to him only minutes prior. I can't fathom as a parent watching my child bully another child without intervening. We don't allow E to pick on or bully her little brother, we don't allow either child to bully other children, it's simply not acceptable. Am I the only parent that cries when her child cries? Am I the only parent who feels sad and guilty when I see my child be rude to others? Having to limit my child's playmates due to their behavior is frustrating, especially when he asks to play with them. But I simply cannot allow him to be treated in such a cruel manner.

I'm sad, I'm angry, I'm hurt, I'm frustrated. I hate seeing my baby hurting. Thankfully, not all children are bullies and I'd be remiss if I neglected to mention that Mr N has some amazing friends who play with him kindly, gently, and fairly; lovely children who ask and want to play with Mr N, eager to share and include him in their games. It's good friends like these who keep me from losing my mind and losing all hope.

Getting all of that off of my chest feels better.....now onto patience.

My patience has grown tremendously over the last few years, I've come to realize that while some behaviors that Mr N displays are irritating and frustrating, many times he has no control over what overwhelms him and when he gets overstimulated. I am much more patient and more inclined to give him a hug, remove him from a situation and just help him relax. If he's had a rough day or been in a challenging situation, it's becoming easier to just chill and respond to his needs with patience, love and understanding rather than getting upset or short with him.

Little miss is eager to use the computer so off I go to cuddle my amazing little boy with a heart so full of love.