Today was our big grocery shopping day, so while we were in town we got Mr N some big boy panties, now just to convince him that he needs to wear them rather than running around naked. Grocery getting was pretty uneventful, Mr N did great today. It was a beautiful day so I didn't bother putting the windows back in the Jeep, on our way into town E kept asking me to take the top off, so before we journeyed back home I took off the top. There is something so relaxing and wonderful about wind blowing through your hair in perfect weather.
Mr N napped on our way into town and I wore him all through Walmart, then at Costco he walked beside me most of the time or maybe I should say ran. He was quite riled up and ready to play so we did Costco quite quickly.
Therapy went pretty well today, Mr N was in a much better disposition and interacted well with Katy. He climbed up on the table to turn on the CD player because he wanted to dance with her, such a precious boy. I love him. He also did some painting.
After painting he did some fruit cutting (wooden fruit/wooden knife), hide and seek, then some outside time.
While Mr N and E were busy playing with Katy I scheduled well child checks and sent a message to Mr N's pediatrician requesting a referral to get his rest of the testing done. I was going to procrastinate and avoid the issue because I'm a bit scared. But last night I decided, somewhat naively, that I would just google these things and reassure myself that his tests will all come back negative. After that shock of information I decided I'd rather know for sure one way or another, the sooner the better.
I've been a bit of an emotional wreck today just thinking about the prospect of Mr N having yet another diagnosis that I'm not prepared to handle. I just assumed we were ruling out stuff, that there was one in a million chance that he'd get more diagnosis, that there was little chance that he'd actually have anything in addition to autism. I know they say knowledge is power, but right now it feels like knowledge is crippling. I just want the tests to be done, to have some answers.
Every time my beautiful baby is being silly, making me laugh, giving me hugs, and just being a boy I get a little teary. He's so amazing, I've never met such a joyful, little boy who was so quick with a smile, who is so amazingly beautiful and sweet. To know him is to love him.
I am making it my goal to not think about the testing until the appointments are scheduled, I will not continue to wallow and blubber (well maybe a little bit, but I'll do it privately). Another diagnosis does not change who my beautiful love bug is, it only adds another layer to him.
No comments:
Post a Comment