My Big Boy

Potty training? But I'm not ready! I've always felt child led potty training is the most effective and easiest method. You can call it laziness, I'm fine with that. My point is Mr N has started peeing on the potty on a daily basis without any prompting. He pats his diaper when he wants to sit on the potty, then runs for the bathroom. I'm not sure that he really needed to pee all 8 times he went today, but he certainly enjoys receiving praise for peeing on the potty. 

Today was our big grocery shopping day, so while we were in town we got Mr N some big boy panties, now just to convince him that he needs to wear them rather than running around naked. Grocery getting was pretty uneventful, Mr N did great today. It was a beautiful day so I didn't bother putting the windows back in the Jeep, on our way into town E kept asking me to take the top off, so before we journeyed back home I took off the top. There is something so relaxing and wonderful about wind blowing through your hair in perfect weather. 

Mr N napped on our way into town and I wore him all through Walmart, then at Costco he walked beside me most of the time or maybe I should say ran. He was quite riled up and ready to play so we did Costco quite quickly.

Therapy went pretty well today, Mr N was in a much better disposition and interacted well with Katy. He climbed up on the table to turn on the CD player because he wanted to dance with her, such a precious boy. I love him. He also did some painting. 

After painting he did some fruit cutting (wooden fruit/wooden knife), hide and seek, then some outside time. 

While Mr N and E were busy playing with Katy I scheduled well child checks and sent a message to Mr N's pediatrician requesting a referral to get his rest of the testing done. I was going to procrastinate and avoid the issue because I'm a bit scared. But last night I decided, somewhat naively, that I would just google these things and reassure myself that his tests will all come back negative. After that shock of information I decided I'd rather know for sure one way or another, the sooner the better. 

I've been a bit of an emotional wreck today just thinking about the prospect of Mr N having yet another diagnosis that I'm not prepared to handle. I just assumed we were ruling out stuff, that there was one in a million chance that he'd get more diagnosis, that there was little chance that he'd actually have anything in addition to autism. I know they say knowledge is power, but right now it feels like knowledge is crippling. I just want the tests to be done, to have some answers.

Every time my beautiful baby is being silly, making me laugh, giving me hugs, and just being a boy I get a little teary. He's so amazing, I've never met such a joyful, little boy who was so quick with a smile, who is so amazingly beautiful and sweet. To know him is to love him. 

I am making it my goal to not think about the testing until the appointments are scheduled, I will not continue to wallow and blubber (well maybe a little bit, but I'll do it privately). Another diagnosis does not change who my beautiful love bug is, it only adds another layer to him.