Supermom

I frequently have people tell me that I'm supermom and that they are blown away by all of the things I do. The truth is, I'm no better than any other mother. These type of comments typically come after observing  me  carrying both kids in heels, keeping my cool while having one child melting down, and the other just needing some much deserved attention. I must look much different than I feel at these moments, if I'm carrying both kids I'm sweaty, my hair is disheveled, I'm exhausted, I feel like I've been hit by a mack truck and am ready to crawl into a hole and cry. What they don't see is my slinking to my car and crying all the way home.

There are days when I get a lot accomplished, the kids do great, and I feel on top of the world, that I feel like a supermom.

This is not one of those days. I'm absolutely dreading our meeting this afternoon to discuss Mr N's progress and his transition into the education system. I'm so sick to my stomach, I feel like breathing is sucking out all of my energy, I just want this day to be over to have the information and figure out how to proceed. I'd like to lay on the floor and play dead, it works in bear attacks and to avoid sex, surely it would be beneficial in a meeting like today's. Instead, I'll do my best to look brave and put together, pretend I know what they are talking about (then Google everything after they leave). They can sense fear and they prey on it, I must not show fear!

By now you might realize that when I'm stressed and nervous my natural instinct is to make jokes and be awkward. The awkward is obvious, the jokes are lame; however, that is what my brain says to do. My brain is wise and old, I will listen to it.

The silver lining? All this stress and worry has gotten me excitingly closer to my goal weight! Go me! Sadly, those easy pounds will come right back and I'll have to lose them fairly, but until then, go me! :D

Interestingly, I just received a phone call from the super duper supervisor (exact title forgotten) asking if we'd be more interested in a natural environment, child led therapy. Really? This is/has been an option but never mentioned before? So Mr N's therapist and coordinator were just hoping to push their agenda to force us to comply with their ideology and preferred method of therapy? The relationship between Mr N and the therapist is so badly damaged, not to mention our trust and faith in her, that we will now have to start with a new therapist. I'm relieved that at least it sounds like we will still be able to receive services.

Enough complaining for today, I'm so happy that my husband will be by my side for today's meeting. Just having someone else on Mr N's side to support me will be reassuring.

I may not be a super hero, but I do have at least one super power.