Autism

The word that changed our lives. The disorder my precious baby boy will have for the rest of his life.

I really don't know what I'm doing today, it's been a strange day. I had so many wise, profound things I was going to say about autism (no really, I did) and now as E says "nothin in my noggin".

I want this blog to also serve to help other parents of autistic children, so I'll try to link to some sources for them. There are several websites dedicated to raising awareness such as www.autismspeaks.org and http://www.autism-society.org/. Then there are the ones dedicated to research such as http://www.autism.com/ and then http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/info/autism/ is a guide to coping and dealing with autism. A checklist may be a valuable tool for parents who are concerned about their children. The experts say that early intervention is the key to success in treating autism. There are a lot of services available to children with various delays that I was completely unaware of prior to this journey with Mr N.

Mr N has been mouthing velcro and velcro type stuff today more than usual. Apparently some of the kids' stuffed animals have the texture he likes. He's sucked on a giraffe's legs and dog's face. Right now he's going to town on stuffed grapes. He's already drenched his sensory blanket, thank goodness it can all go in the washing machine. He's had a really off day today, I wonder if something is bugging him, wonder if he's getting sick. He didn't eat any of his breakfast or lunch, he's only eaten a few crackers and licked a popsicle for a few minutes. It's days like these when I wish he was more verbal, I just wish he could tell me what's wrong and what I can do to make it all better. Why can't I help him?

This morning while I was mowing he screamed and screamed, I had to stop several times and hold him. When I finally ran out of gas, he just wanted held and cuddled. He typically likes the mower and likes to watch us mow. I don't know what to do.

When Mr N's therapist arrived today he greeted her at the door then ran to the play room to start therapy. I'm glad he looks forward to her coming. She had to prepare some paperwork before she was able to begin therapy so he played with his dinosaurs while he waited. I worked on curtains while she was here today and Mr N came out of the play room a few times to check in with me, but kept going back in. He started getting cranky and tired, he laid down and took a nap while I held him. He woke up smelling sick, I don't know how to describe it other than he smells like he's gonna puke. He hasn't yet, but I won't be surprised if he does. He cried a lot when he woke up and wanted to go sit in his car seat, so I took him out to the car. He sat in the car for a few minutes while E and the therapist tried to catch a lizard. When Mr N got out of the car he wanted a popsicle. He didn't get back into therapy at all. I cuddled him on the couch and put a movie in to distract him for a while. He calmed down and has been fine since. He even waved and said "bye" to his therapist, he blew her a kiss, and I'm pretty sure he said "have fun".

This morning he was playing with a ball and kept saying "a ball" instead of just "ball", I'm pretty sure it's his first preposition. He also said "a cat" when Elephant walked through. So even on his bad days, he does great things. I love this little man!

Right now he's just cuddling on my lap, being sad. Making Mommy feel sad and hopeless. I need to be able to help him.

Today, my heart is heavy.

Tomorrow is another day, a better day, more effort, more results. We will overcome autism, we must! My baby boy is counting on me.