We've gotten mixed responses from family and close friends when informing them of Mr N's diagnosis. This has been extremely hard on me emotionally.
My husband, is my rock, my shoulder to cry on, my voice of reason, he is always calming my fears, and validating my feelings. He does his best to give me breaks when he's home and helps makes weekends relaxing and enjoyable, all the while constantly working with Mr N. He has been supportive of my weak self pitying moments, hasn't criticized my mommy guilt moments when I spend insane amounts of money on toys for the kids. If I find a toy that I think will help Mr N color match, learn his letters, numbers, interact with others, anything I think will be beneficial, I feel like I must buy it. Then I must also buy E something so that she does not get jealous. The mommy guilt is overwhelming at times. My poor little E wants her own teacher, but that has faded with time, she realizes the therapist lets her play with the toys she brings, she gets a lot of one on one mommy time while the therapist is working with little brother.
My husband is very determined to get our son the help he needs to help him succeed. He rented a couple of movies from the library, one was Autism Is A World. I cried like a baby through the entire documentary. Sue Rubin was diagnosed as autistic when she was 4, and was believed to be mentally retarded, as well, until she was 13. She was then able to communicate via a keyboard. This was heartbreaking and an inspiration to us to ensure that Mr N would have the resources he needed to communicate. The movie wasn't over for 5 minutes before Daddy got online and bought him an iPad so that Mr N would be able to use the Proloquo2Go app to communicate. Being the amazing husband and Daddy that he is, got E an iPad, too. We do not want her jealous or to resent her little brother. She is an amazing helper and instrumental in helping her brother learn through imitative and imaginative play, making sure she is happy and willing to help is important.
Ironically, Mr N's speech started improving drastically and he rarely uses the Proloquo2Go app but will occasionally use a free flash card app to communicate his desires to us. E on the other hand, loves her iPad and she is learning her sight words, and loves apps that read books to her.
My husband is amazing and makes me happier than I could ever imagine. Having such a strong supportive husband, who is hands on with the kids is a huge help. Despite recently finding out that Mr N has autism and all the struggles and stress that brings, our marriage is still as strong as ever and we are both incredibly happy. I'm a very lucky girl.
Onto my bestie....I've known her since we were 4 & 6 if my memory is accurate. We were friends all through our childhood, but not super close until our teen years. She's always been fun and silly and we can be stupid together. I don't think I expected the empathy, the support, the love, the sharing my joys, the right words at the right time that I've received from my bestie. She doesn't have children, I didn't think she'd be able to relate, I didn't think she'd be able to put herself in my shoes. I didn't think she'd understand the emotional toll this has taken on me. I didn't think she'd realize how devastating an autism diagnosis would have on me. But she has brought me to tears many times by the loving, kind things she has said. She ALWAYS asks about Mr N, always asks if he's said anything new, asks how therapy is going. She has been absolutely amazing.
There have been other people in my life who I thought would be more supportive, more understanding, better able to say the right thing. But where they fell short, my bestie more than picked up the slack. She is a truly remarkable person and a very dear friend.
This isn't to say my other friends haven't been supportive and great and amazing, but most of them have kids, which I think helps them better able to relate.
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